The Things Hollywood Has Taught Me

[NickB]

Same deal in the old forum we had this game running called 'The Things Hollywood Has Taught Me' I will start , I am sure you will get the idea.

What I have learned from Hollywood movies:

- One assault rifle clip that is meant to hold 30 rounds can in actuality fire well over 100 rounds.

- Fire arms do not have recoil that is just a myth.

- Non-American soldiers are usually very stupid and they can not aim.

- The probability of the hero being shot in the head or chest is 1/1000000

- The probability of the hero being shot in the shoulder or leg is 9/10

- Grenades can blow up mansions

- One block of C4 can either blow a door of its hinges without doing much damage to the rest of the structure or it can demolish a whole mansion.

- Even when you turn off all the lights you can still see people clearly

- If you ever save a female hostage the probability of her sleeping with you in 9/10

- Shotguns can be deadly accurate weapons and can fire as far as some assault rifles

- Anyone who lives in the isolated southern parts of America is either a cannibal, a murderer, crazy or a cliched sweet old couple that bakes pies.

- Crocodiles, sharks, alligators, snakes, lions always prefer to kill ethnic minorities before they kill white Americans

- When a psycho killer is chasing you the best thing to do is run upstairs or into a dark dead end alley or anywhere that gives you the best chance of being cornered.

- If you are on foot and a car is trying to run you down the best idea is to stay on the open road. You should never run up stairs or a place in which the car can not follow.

- Never walk along or drive across train tracks because there is a 7/10 chance of your car stalling or getting your foot stuck

- Only thing trains do when they see a car in front of them is beep the horn and pickup speed, trains have no breaks.

- There is a 7/10 chance that a car accident will result in an explosion

- There is a 9/10 chance that this explosion will happen a few seconds after everyone gets out of the car

- Crashing into a solid wall at 100 miles an hour is no big deal 9/10 people walk away from such incidents

- A police officer has a 6/10 chance of getting hit by a car whilst pursuing a suspect on foot but only being slightly injured.

- Getting hit by a car is no big deal most of the times you can get up and walk away.

[swdrsk88]

you always win if your the underdog----even if your team sucks to high heaven

[swdrsk88]

and you always play the hardest team your first game, and then you play them again on the last game of the season, and win by 1

[NickB]

If you are a cop about to retire in one weeks time after 30 years on the force that week will be the most dangerous of your life and you will have a 99% chance of dieing.

[Metalhawk]

You only need to go to the bathroom once a week or so.

[turret]

If you have sex early in the movie, you will die painfully by psycho.

sleazy strip clubs have hot women

kids are smart and can rationalize better than parents

jocks in the end will high five the geeks

swat teams can't catch one guy with a loaded cell phone

that we love more animation movies than "real ones"

you really do glisten instead of sweat like a pig when being chased for days

[turret]

sleazy adult entertainment establishments have hot women

kids are smarter and can rationalize better than their stupid parents

jocks will bond and hi five with the nerds in the end

a crowd of 1000+ street racing will not bring the cops until the race is over

having sex will bring horrific untimely death by psycho with mask. abstinence is key for survival....

hanging out on street corner waitin for perp in 8+million city brings results before coffee gets cold

suped up turbo cars get 70mpg

physics don't apply to ax weilding 6 times shot psycho, when you are sprinting away from him, trip, fall, get up and he narrily misses you with his 20lb pipe we swung at you.

cops know martial arts. king drug dealer knows more.

radio stations never have commercials

"i need your whole hardrive on a floppy" works

top execs in companies have sleezy closet fetish when you need blackmail opportunity

what store sells cans labeled beer or soda ??

parents can enjoy breakfast with kids on a school day. all companies start work at 10am

[Danny]

after treking in the jungle for days without water, I can make 3 cans of fuel appear for an explosion

[swdrsk88]

if i believe i can do anything....

...im believing my next trade will make me 1 million dollars...

[jah glen]

when the ugly girl takes off her glasses, she becomes the most beautiful